Yesterday I had to go to Moorfields Eye Hospital A&E, I had been experiencing some pain and blurred vision in my left eye. I was warned when I arrived that there was a three hour wait but I saw a nurse fairly quickly and was then asked to wait in the inner sanctum waiting room which was packed full. The occupants of the waiting room resembled the cast of a very modern disaster movie. Multi race, multi faith, the old and the young including a baby, the suited business man yawning and huffing loudly, the father and son and a bossy matriarch.
The business man snorts like a bull. The son of an elderly Muslim man sounds just like Frank Bruno as he talks on his mobile about north London rental prices. The bossy matriarch woman points out the no mobile phone sign and he hangs up and genuinely thanks her for reminding him. Every now and again a guide dog weaves it's way amongst us. The backdrop noise, a TV in the corner, is punctured by the tea trolley lady asking "cheese and onion or plain?"
I am vaguely aware of a donkey jacket wearing old geezer who has been humming Irish folk songs shuffle nearer to where I am sitting. He settles opposite and immediately starts talking. Not to me but about me. “Ooh look at her rubbing her eye - that’ll make it worse.” when I reach for my mobile “Ooh she’s got her mobile, somebody loves her.” I was bristling with every comment.
At about this point an elderly woman with an even older companion arrived. No sooner had they arrived the younger of the two disappeared to find the “ladies”. Donkey Jacket continued to commentate on me like an alien David Attenborough commenting on a human female. The younger of the elderly ladies returned from the “ladies” in a whirlwind of excitement.
“There was a young man in the ladies toilet, out of his head on cocaine and wacky baccy! He was in a complete fury in the ladies toilet out of his head you know, out of his head on cocaine and wacky baccy|” she exclaimed
Her even older companion just nodded, Madge Allsop style.
The Deal or No Deal music floated out from the TV corner and Donkey jacket shuffled away to watch the programme and talk to Noel Edmonds and left me in peace.
It wasn’t long after this that I saw a Dr and was informed that I have a series of abrasions on my left cornea which weren’t healing naturally so I have to leave my contact lenses out for a week, take antibiotic eye drops 6 times a day for 7 days.
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