Sorry for not having blogged for a while. It's not as if I don't have a lot to blog about. There was the last week of our honeymoon in Miami and then our wedding celebration with family once we got back. Unfortunately I've not been feeling very well over the last 2 weeks.
My left eye, the one operated on twice this year, flared up again both red and painful. My consultant saw it and put me back on the steroid eye drops. But the real problem is depression. To be honest I've stopped looking for reasons why my depression and anxiety flare up. I know that the last time we got home from a big holiday I was very unwell. In fact it was that bout of anxiety and depression which caused me to finally seek proper help, which in turn lead me to change my life style. I started working part time, I then started up my own business so I'd have control over my work and we moved house out of London to somewhere quieter.
I certainly don't regret those changes I had to make the changes. But now my anxiety and depression seem to be focussed on the fact that I don't have any structure to my life, that I'm working from home most of the time and not interacting with others. I feel isolated not having a car and living outside of London with out a car is difficult for me. Many of the places I'd like to visit around here can't be accessed by public transport and those that can the public transport stops running at 5PM! I think having a car and Jason being able to drive me around to places at the weekend has really made me realise how different things would be for me if I could drive. Something up until now I have never been bothered about. In London you're better off with out a car!
But I don't want to moan and make my blog an unhappy place. I've been very open on the blog about my mental health so I thought it was only right that I explained that the reason I've not been blogging lately is because I am feeling anxious and depressed again. I'll just have to ride this one out for a while I think. I'm seeing my CBT nurse on the 9th January.
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