More eye surgery

Let's get the good news out of the way first. I have a date for my eye surgery! It's 22nd of July so just 3 weeks away. I have to say that my consultant at Moorfield's has been great. He is hopeful that this surgery will be successful but if not there is another operation which can be performed so this isn't my only option.

I am relieved that the wait won't be too long, the thought of even another 3 weeks with my sight like this is bad enough. This whole experience has really given me a valuable insight into what it's like to an acquire an impairment. As I was born with mine I've only ever known being partially sighted. I've also always known that my sight is fairly stable. Even the initial problem they tried to fix with the surgery that lead to this, happened so gradually I had time to get used to it. But this sudden loss of sight is something else.

I never realised that if you can't see well enough to read an eye test chart or in my case last night see where the chart was with my left eye, there's another test they do! The nurse got a piece of card with a big black x on it and walked towards me. I couldn't see that either with my left eye. She then tried how many fingers am I holding up, her hand about 6 inches from my face. No I couldn't pass that either. All I can see out of my left eye at the moment is light & vague shadows. The light I do see causes such glare it's painful sometimes.

But at least my other eye can see better. The trouble is, it's not great either. Reading isn't easy, even huge size text isn't great. I can see it but somehow not clearly and the sense of what I'm reading is hard to grasp some how. I find that I have to limit computer use to about half an hour to 40 minutes a day. Any more and the glare and the reading difficulty sets off headaches. Reading food labels and cooking instructions is impossible in many cases. Crossing roads is hard and I'd not dare attempt it somewhere unfamiliar or without a pedestrian crossing. If Im in a busy place or even just in our local supermarket I dont see people to my left causing more than a few trolley collisions! Plus I've noticed that I'm just a bit more clumsy than usual.

I've tried to use different addictive technology on the computer but I'm struggling -I'm sure with time I'd master it but hopefully I won't need to.

This has really made me aware of how much I rely on the sight I have. I may be used to having impaired sight normally but I know how to live within that impaired vision. Now I feel like I'm having to learn how to do or not do lots of things again. I'm lucky that this should only be temporary. I've been surprised by how it has effected me emotionally. It has given me a better understanding and respect for those who lose their sight and the Emotional and practical issues and barriers they overcome.